Passion

Love

Mark has prostate cancer which has spread into other parts of his body.  In his healing exercises he has been asking the question:  What do I want?  He is to walk, talk aloud, and then write down what he wants.  His lists always include something about his new love.  He is separated, divorce pending, and has found a wonderful woman.  So during the course of doing his exercises the love interest moves towards the top of the list.  Love is welling up and ready to be fully expressed.  In our last meeting he told me of his full expression to her.  He told her how much he loved her and wanted to make a life with her.  She returned his sentiment and they had a love fest.  His passion is being stirred.  They talk of long term plans.  However, he has cancer and is in the midst of a struggle for life itself.  How can he make long range plans whole heartedly?  He states that in his heart he just wants to life in the here and now.

Whole Hearted

 Mark’s circumstances bring up a long standing challenge with whole hearted-ness.  As a young man he moved back home to enter the family business only to find, after a few years, that there was no real future for him the way the business was being run.  He moved on, but with a sense of disappointment and bitterness.  He found another job with good potential but found himself less than whole hearted.  He chose to spend time with his sons rather than climb the corporate ladder.  This did not go over well with the wife.  For Mark, his heart had been compromised.  His passion had been compromised by the disappointment and betrayal.  And now, his health is being compromised.  A return to whole hearted living is staring him in the face.  His love interest beckons him to make whole hearted commitment and whole hearted plans.  But he finds himself once again with the feeling of life being compromised.  How can he go whole hearted into his future?  It appears to be yet another dilemma, but it is an opportunity, the opportunity that comes with the need for healing 

Freedom

Mark is in love.  Mark wants the love to last.  In this regard he is in the same boat as anyone else, regardless of health status.  Everyone wants love and they want it to go on and on.  But … there is a catch.  And I say this very simply and directly because I have seen and experienced this phenomenon over and over.  Love requires freedom.  The two go hand in hand - everywhere.  Whether we are talking about a couple, a community, or a nation.  These two are bound forever in a dynamic of vital forces.  One requires the other for best possibilities for everyone to unfold.  Mark, as he falls in love and plans for love, is faced with rediscovering his freedom.  If he wants to keep love and keep love flowing and growing he will have to find his passion and pursue personal freedom.  Love the full presence of self. 

And herein lies the heart of his challenge, his long standing compromise.  Herein also lies the opportunity, the antidote to discouragement, disappointment, and half-hearted attempts to live a good life.  Mark needs all the vitality he can muster for healing cancer.  He needs all his fortitude, his determination, and resolve.  Yes, love will support and sustain, but the love will fade without personal passion freedom and a sense of quest.  He must find his way, his own way.  He must deliberately pursue a sense of personal direction and purpose.  And it may take some doing.  But that is what happens with everyone, regardless of health status.  Life demands the unfolding of self.  Life demands that vision, voice, direction, and determination be a working part of every existence. 

The Wonder Years

I wonder what I can do?  I wonder if I could actually go that far?  I wonder if I could make a real difference? 

During youth we are filled with possibility and wonder.  Mark went west and became passionate about the environment.  He remembers those years as years of personal strength and direction.     The passion and vision that wells up in youth is real.  The vision comes from within us, welling up naturally and creating all kinds of dreams and adventures.  A re-visiting of his youthful dreams and passion may help reignite something in his present life.  It never hurts to remember what has stirred the soul.  It is like getting a running start on the question again, the question of What do I want?  For that is still the exercise.  What do I want? 

Here and Now

Mark needs his vitality and strength.  He needs healing.  Here and now.  The whole point of doing his exercises is to uncover hidden strength and healing.  It is all there.  Life has placed strength, vitality, and healing within him in good measure.  Now he must, with the heart of a warrior, with the heart of a child, pursue the discovery of passion.  I use warrior and child together because the heart of a child is filled with determination, hope, resolve, dreams, desire, and action.  And like the warrior’s heart it is fixed upon the victory.   A child must have satisfaction here and now.  There is no waiting around.  Life is happening right now.  Wants and needs are right now.  Fulfillment is right now.  This is not selfish.  This is reality.  Health and healing depend upon living right here, right now. 

So what about the long term plans?  Go ahead, make all the plans you want.  But be certain that they are built upon the desire that is burning in the here and now.  Find that passion, hold to it, and make it your foundation for the future.  Meet the age-old challenge of living both in the joy of the moment and living with a vision that has long term benefits for all.  Be in your freedom and allow your love for life and fellow man to well up.  They are forever connected.  Passion and vision, freedom and love, adventure and reunion, is the pulse of life.  The pulse of life is what Mark wants most.  Everything else depends upon this pulse.